Monte Carlo

Shortly before I left on my trip, a few friends of mine had mentioned that Monte Carlo was very close to Nice and that I should head over and check it out if I had any time. It came highly recommended, and there wasn’t a ton of stuff to do in Nice, so I decided to take the 25-minute train to Monaco in the middle of the day. I figured that I could lie on the beach anywhere, but I was unlikely to come back to this area again any time soon.

For those of you who may not know, Monte Carlo is not in France – it is part of Monaco, technically the world’s second-smallest country which lies on the Mediterranean right next to France. (The smallest "country" is, of course, the Vatican, so now I’ve been to the smallest two.) Fun fact: Because of its very small size, Monaco is also technically the world’s most densely populated country.

My main purpose in visiting Monaco was to see the world famous casino in Monte Carlo. Technically, the casino is in Monte Carlo and most of the other stuff I saw was in “other parts of the country.” Distinguishing in such an incredibly small area seems a bit foolish to me, though. Anyway, I had heard differing accounts about the dress code enforced by Le Grand Casino. So I decided to play it as safely as I could. I didn’t bring many nice clothes in my lone backpack, though. I got my hands on an iron and got the wrinkles out of a button-down shirt. And while my black boat shoes/sandal things are far from dress shoes, under a pair of pants they almost look nice. At least they’re not sneakers. So despite the fact that it was a hot day and that Monaco is on the slope of a steep hill, I put on the nicer clothes – including my best option for pants: the more acceptable of two pairs of jeans. This act was especially significant as it marked the first time on my trip when I didn’t wear shorts.

Once I got cleaned up, I caught the regional train and arrived in Monaco around 2:30 pm. Monaco is not even a square mile, but even though it used to be one of Europe’s poorer countries, it does pretty damn well for itself these days. Undaunted by its lack of natural resources and small population, it rakes in the dough from business-favorable tax laws and a huge emphasis on its tourism industry. Monaco is often the vacation destination of choice for the rich and famous, and this much was certainly clear.

Pretty much all of Monaco is centered around Port Hercule. And Port Hercule is apparently where yachts come to breed. They were everywhere – both at the docks and out at sea. But before walking the piers, I walked straight to Le Grand Casino.

The casino looked impressive from the outside, but it was truly remarkable inside. (Unfortunately, for God knows what reason, they don’t allow pictures inside.) It’s nothing like Vegas; there’s nothing cheesy about it. It’s all chandeliers, private rooms, and painted ceilings. It’s all pretty lavish.

As it turned out, my attempt at dressing up was irrelevant. There was essentially no dress code for most of the casino. There was one ultra-swanky room with a view of the ocean that required a coat and tie for admission. (I didn’t have that in my backpack.) But I wasn’t that disappointed. I could see the whole room from the outside, and no one was in there at 3:00 pm anyway.

So it was time to get down to business. Of course, you can’t go all the way to Monte Carlo and not touch any chips. My games of choice are craps and blackjack. But I didn’t see any craps tables open and the minimum bet for one hand of blackjack at the cheapest table was € 50. The minimum bet for roulette was € 5. Roulette it was.

I actually have a pretty good history with roulette, and at least I know how to play. The dealers – all in tuxedos - spoke mostly French, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself by not knowing what was going on. So I sat down at a table where three frogs dressed as penguins were running the show. A few other tourists were playing with me. I placed my first bet on the lowest third, and the spin yielded a 30. I was a little disappointed until I realized that the letter that I had thought stood for the lowest third in French actually stood for the highest. Hey, a win is a win.

Responsible fellow that I am, I budgeted myself to lose up to € 30, and I decided that if I went up € 50, I could play some blackjack. I only made it up 45 until it all went away. But I played for a decent amount of time, and I had some good fun.

After I left the casino, I wandered down to the port to marvel at some of the big boats. At the other side of the port and up a big hill again stood Monaco’s royal palace from which the royals have ruled since the 1200s. How a square-mile kingdom with perfect weather, gorgeous views, and a luxurious culture was never overtaken I do not know. Apparently, the royals of Monaco are very famous, too. There's a good-sized family of them, and some of them are young and attractive if I remember correctly. (So they're nothing like the British royals.)

Though I went up to walk around the palace, I didn’t pay to go inside the because, to be honest, I just didn’t feel like it.

I did, however, walk around Monaco some more and smell the aroma of money for a while. It’s really a surreal place. The streets are lined with designer shops like Prada and Hermes and filled with the type of car that is usually parked diagonally in front of an exclusive restaurant. The ATMs looked so ritzy that I wasn’t sure I was allowed to use one. Even the sidewalks are fancy. They have escalators and elevators in random places outside just so you don’t have to walk uphill. I actually thought that the buildings themselves would be a bit flashier, but the outsides of the hotels looked a little dated. I imagine that they were all built in one big boom, and there wasn’t a ton of real estate left in Monaco to go around. Somehow, I’m sure that the insides – if not just the views – more than make up for it.

Once I finished walking in the footsteps of the rich and famous, it was time to come back to reality. I hopped back on my rustic train and returned to our hotel in Nice. The next morning, I would be in a tiny little town in Italy – miles away from Monaco both in terms of distance and in wealth.

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More pictures of Monte Carlo: